Help
by liviaintheskyy
Summary: Tony Stark never needed help before, but lately his life's been a mess. Steve is the one that can see it and tries to help him. Steve/Tony. Slash.


Uh, this started when I was listening to the song Help by The Beatles, the plot came and yeah, you'll see what it turned into.

I'm really bad at English grammar, actually. If anyone notice any mistake, send me a PM and I'll change it.

I do not own any of the characters nor the song. I don't gain anything of this except the reviews etc.

Summary: Tony Stark never needed help before, but lately his life's been a mess. Steve is the one that can see it and tries to help him.

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It has been more than three days that Tony had tucked himself in his lab and hadn't been out of it. Ok, he went to the bathroom and stuff, but all on the same floor, and went straight back to the lab. No sleeping, no eating; only drinking some orange juice. And only because Steve would appear there and force him to at least drink something.

And it was amazing how Steve was worried all the time about him. While everyone was letting go, because "that's just Tony being himself, there's nothing we can really do about it", Steve was the one to take care of the team, but mostly, take care of Tony. He didn't understand why, but Rogers was the only one who could see how desperately Tony needed help.

When everyone in the team came to live in the Stark tower, they shared some of their own crazy habits, everyone having to accept and respect each other things. Natasha never told anyone about her past, Clint asked to have a bunk in his bedroom so he could sleep in the upper one, Bruce would ignore everyone and withdraw himself whenever he was becoming stressed, until he calmed down enough and even Steve had his moments, the bag punching was pretty intense and some days he'd rip apart a dozen of it. And Tony had to distract himself in the lab. For days and days. And everyone would just let him, but not Steve. And the worst part of it, and Tony had a hard time admitting it to himself, but he was developing a huge crush on the soldier.

Because he was Captain America, for god's sakes, who wouldn't fall in love for him? With all his muscles and kind eyes and the radiant smile and the confused blushed face he'd make whenever he heard some of Tony's dirty jokes. And the fact that he was the one that could hear the loud yell for help underneath the usual "Leave me alone" Tony shouted when someone interrupted him. And Steve appeared in the labs every now and then to ask how Tony was doing, if he'd come up to eat, even if he knew Tony would say the same thing every time.

And to be honest, Tony couldn't say much why he couldn't stop working and just go up with the Captain whenever he asked. Maybe it was because of his pride, to admit he was in need of some food, some rest. Maybe it was because of his nightmares, haunting his mind, the tortures that he suffered years ago coming back to scare him every night. But maybe it was because of his thoughts that were haunting him. The thoughts that he always had somewhere inside his head, but now were getting louder. That he didn't deserve to be in the place he was, that he hurt everyone around him, that no one liked him enough to keep him around for long enough.

And even though he acted the same ironic egocentric guy around everyone, Steve would see him failing. The only guy whose opinion mattered somehow was the one that could see all the weakness beneath his face. And he couldn't let him get in. He was so ugly inside, so full of flaws, he didn't want Steve to see him like this.

So the genius would just start some new project, anything hard enough to keep him occupied for days, distracted. And this time it was about three days – he wasn't sure, really - he hadn't gone to the surface. He'd invented this really complicated system to put a motion sensor in various parts of the armor, and he was trying a way to not expose the sensors too much, but still, make them sense stuff around the armor. And he knew that he could do it in a much simpler way, but he needed it to take time. Because in the last battle, he'd almost been killed when the robot shot to his back, he was saved by Steve and his shield. He needed time from everyone. Because, really, if he was about to die in one of those battles, what would he leave behind? A bunch of pictures in the tabloids, a bunch of broken hearts and nothing he would be really proud of.

So there he was, trying to escape from his thoughts in the middle of his circuits and wires without seeing a living being for days. Because the Captain had to travel until a day earlier, so he was tired and slept before the usual visit to the labs. The juice had ended, and Tony hadn't gone to the kitchen to get more, not that he thought he needed to get some more anyway.

But when it was sometime in the evening, maybe around 2, Steve woke up to drink some water and asked Jarvis about Tony.

"He is in his laboratory, sir."

"And for how long?"

"Eighty four hours and thirteen minutes, sir."

"Holy mother, he wants to die or what?" The soldier left the cup of water behind and took the elevator to the lab, to find Stark. When he got to the lab floor, he started wandering around. The usual rock music was still loud on the speakers, but there was no other sound. When Steve finally saw the other, he ran to his direction.

The billionaire was lying on the cold floor, unconscious, a small device Steve didn't recognized in his hand. Steve came close, checking if the arc reactor was still gleaming, checking the other man's pulse and breathing rhythm. When he saw the other was ok, no blood and no apparent wound, he cleared the table next to him and put his teammate over it. So, from his knowledge, the other must have been lacking sugar on his blood, or perhaps something weird happened – when you're an avenger, you never know what can happen – caused by an accident from whatever it was Tony had been trying to make.

He didn't want to let the other man alone in the room again, but everyone else was sleeping and he needed to do something about it. He went up to the kitchen the quickest he could, blaming himself all the way for letting Tony stay without any food or the orange juice. If he had visited the other, he would at least notice if he was well.

It hurt him to see Tony do that to himself. He knew that something was going on and was getting worried about it. What if there was something else, bigger, bothering Tony? He tried to talk to Bruce, but despite him being Tony's best friend, he didn't knew much more, and when he asked Pepper, the woman told everything she could about him, but couldn't tell what it was. She thanked him for worrying and, for Christ sake's, she even asked him to take care of Tony for her, and there he was, failing.

He managed to find the pot of sugar and put some of it in a glass of water and hurried back to the lab. Lifting the man's head with one hand, he managed to make him half drink half outpour the liquid. He searched the place around him, looking for something he could put under the other's foot. He'd learned that he should do that, to make the blood circulation better. He found a weird machine and positioned it under Tony's foot, taking of his shoes.

"Oh, c'mon, wake up already!" Fifteen minutes later, and Steve was still there, sitting in a chair he found around the lab, beside Tony. Jarvis had already turned off the music, and the silence was bothering him. "Wake up so I can make sure you're okay. Then you can go back to sleep, you need some good rest. But I just need to check if you're fine." And there he was, talking with an unconscious man. If anything had happened to Tony he wouldn't forgive himself.

When he met his former friend son, he was pretty amazed by his personality. He was angered by this fact. When he heard of him, he was expecting someone like Howard, but the man ended up being nothing like his father. When Steve tried to approach him, he only pushed him away, he made fun of all of his insecurities and that made Steve hate the man in the first moment. But after a while, living with him, interacting with him, he realized that what he'd seen first was just a mask Tony put to make he seem stronger. Not much longer after their first battle, Pepper, who had been his girlfriend for a while, decided to leave him, and Tony couldn't do anything to make her stay. Around everyone he seemed fine, but once he overheard Tony calling her in the night, and he could swear Tony was crying, a bottle of whiskey in hands. Since then, Steve knew there was more in him than the playboy everyone knew, and he wanted to know even more about him.

And by the time he found the layers of his mate, he was fascinated. If before he was annoyed by his jokes, now he'd love the fact that he always have a good mood to handle everything lightly. And he'd seen him working and, even though worried about how long he'd stay in his lab, he was fascinated by the other's geniality. He wasn't just "I read it on a few books" intelligent. He was a real genius. And he was just awful at taking orders, but that make him come with amazing ideas – dangerous, indeed, but amazing – in the battle field. And after all, he was a good friend, he'd shown some of the tech stuff Steve had missed while on ice, made him watch all his favorite movies from all times and Steve would even dare to say he was liking the billionaire more than he should.

And after his latest talk with Ms. Potts, when he learned about Tony's time in Afghanistan, about his childhood – in fact, it was hard to believe Howard could be like that to his son, but what he'd known, he was asleep all the while – and about that Obadiah guy betraying his trust, he could only think of Stark as an incredible person. How he could manage to seem so put together in front of everyone, he seems so happy with his life, always superior to the problems that would come to him. The man must be a mess inside his head, but all okay on the outside. Well, not all okay, seeing that right now he was unconscious, but, yeah, pretty much.

His face was rested, relaxed, like Steve had never seen the other. He wondered if Tony looked like this while he sleeps. His chest was now slowly going up and down, the arc reactor glowing through his t-shirt. "I'm Sorry, Tony. I shoulda been here." And then he saw the inventor's hands move.

When Tony tried to open his eyes, he couldn't really, because the lights were too strong. Or maybe it was his arc reactor. He tried to lift his hand to cover the gleaming device, but it seemed too heavy. When he managed to move it properly and allow himself to really open his eyes, he saw what he thought could be a dream. But then, it couldn't be, he'd only had nightmares for a long while to have a dream now. It was Steve fuckin' Rogers smiling to him.

"Hey. You're awake!" He seemed relieved with something, but Tony couldn't think what it was, until it hit him. He had been working, then he started getting dizzy, and he couldn't remember anything else. And, of course, it was Steve the one to rescue him. Once more he owed his life to the super soldier. And he couldn't think of a way to pay back anything like that.

"Yeah, I'm awake. I guess. My head hurts." He slowly put himself sitting. There was no way he was going to say laying there like he was in a hospital bed, sick or something like that. He was not acting strong to impress Steve, no, definitely not. He was just uncomfortable in the table, yeah.

"You need something? Uh… I can grab a bag of ice for your head. Or maybe you want a tea. Or some drink. What about a snack, you must be hung-"

"Steve. Stop it. I don't want anything. I need to go back to work." Steve was rambling and trying to help him even more. And he needed everything he listed. But he wouldn't ask it.

"There's no way I will let you work even more after what happened. Do you realize you are putting your health in risk by staying here for days?" Steve was now serious, but his blue eyes were nothing but worry. And all this worry was almost getting him mad. It was almost like he pitied him. He felt so small, and Tony Stark was not someone who liked to feel small. From all the feelings in the world, the one he hated most was to feel small around the ones he admires. So, yeah, he was hating the situation.

"Tony, you can take some rest if you want, I'll talk to the team, you can go to Malibu or something, and we'll handle everything. It's just… Look at you. There's something bothering you, and if you don't want to tell what it is, that's fine, but you need to do something about it. What if a villain managed to get in here and attacked you, you were vulnerable. And this is putting, not only yours, but everyone's lives in risk." The soldier put a hand on Tony's shoulder. This gesture only made him angrier. Because, and that was not something he was admitting out loud, but with every attitude that showed the other's concern, he'd break, because he needed them, he was longing for the help. He shoved the hand from his shoulder and turned his back to Steve.

"Well, as always, you are concerned about the team, right? And again, it is my fault and I need to leave now. And now it is for some days, and then you'll ask me to leave forever." His voice was as loud as it could get. Steve could hear the hurt in the others voice. It hurt him too, how he could think about it that way?

"No, Tony. I don't want you out of the team, ever. I just want to help you."

"HELP ME? So you want to help me? There's no way for you to help me, I'm sorry, but I don't think you can erase any memory, there is? No, I don't think the serum gave you that kind of power. And you can send me to beyond Asgard, I would still be unable to sleep, because the nightmares come, and there is no one to convince me anything is better now. I guess you wouldn't want me to drown myself in alcohol too, would you? You want to help, but your attempt only makes it harder for me." Tony's fists were closed above the desk, the so livid face from before was now red, the calm expression was now filled with rage. "And maybe, just maybe, I don't tell any of you anything because I don't want you to know how I feel. I don't want you to pity me. I don't want you to see how fucked up I really am. But somehow you see so much of me, and I don't know if I hate you or love you even more for that, - because, yeah, that's also the fact that I fucking love you, Rogers. And your existence ruined everything."

"I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault." The loud voice was now whispering. "It's my fault. I am the only one to blame. Because I'm so weak, and so fucked up… I'm a heartless prick and when I happen to fall in love, like, for real, it is for someone I can't be in love with. And I tried to ignore it, pretend you are like, a very good friend, but there was always something more, and then I decided to avoid you, but it's impossible, because you're on my head all the time." Tony sighed. "I used to have nightmares that I was being tortured, but now you're the one in danger, and when I wake up, I am so desperate, I ask Jarvis if you are okay every night. And then you go in the battle and almost get yourself killed trying to save me. And if there's a life that's worth wasting, it is mine. And it gets me so angry whenever you try to help me, because, you shouldn't help me. But you always do…" His voice then faded. Steve didn't know if he was just tired, or didn't know what to say.

Tony stood up from the table, he had already said too much, but in the second step, he was dizzy again and fell. And there was Steve again to catch him. A perfect example of the whole situation. His weakness making him fall, but Steve trying to catch him.

There were already tears coming down his face, his hands were gripping the soldier's shirt, his face buried in his shoulder. "Steve, please, please. Help me." He felt the warmth of a hand in his back, tender, calming him. "Yeah. C'mon, let's get you something to eat, before you pass out again."

Steve found some cookies and a glass of milk and silently they both were eating, both leaned against the balcony side by side. Steve was trying to think the right things to say. He was never an expert with words, and he didn't want to make Tony feel worse about anything.

"Tony. Listen, I don't agree about a lot of things you said. And I want to justify them, try to make you see what I see. So just listen, okay?" He looked to the next, to check if he was paying attention. "First, I don't think you're a weak person. I think the opposite. You're one of the strongest and bravest men I've ever met, and I've been in the war. Everything you've been through, any other man would be in a psychiatric hospital, but you're here, and you have the right to cry and be upset and angry whenever you want, because you're human, and that's what we do, we are not weak for that. Second, you shouldn't say your life is worth wasting. Think of everything you've done, everything you created, every smile you put on people's faces, and how you'd be missed if you- died. The world is glad there is someone like you. And so am I." His tone was serious, Tony knew he meant it, it was not just to make him feel better, so he couldn't help smiling. That's when Steve remembered the other thing he had to say. "And, third, well, I… I guess I kinda like you too." And Steve was blushing, it was too adorable, and Tony couldn't really believe if that was true.

"You guess?" The shorter man was approaching slowly, the smile still on his face.

"Yes. I mean, no! I don't- I am sure-" Tony was now too close and Steve was way too adorable, he couldn't resist but close the distance in their lips, shushing the other's stuttering. It took a while to Steve to get back to his mind, but when he did, he responded to it whole-heartedly, one of his hands in Tony's soft hair, the other taking his waist closer. Closer enough that they could feel each other heartbeats, and, boy, they were fast.

As they parted from the kiss, both smiling widely, Steve remembered why he was there in the first place. "Tony, I'd love to stay and kiss you till the sun rises, but I do think you should get some sleep now." Tony pouted, making Steve chuckle.

"But I don't want to go now. Why can't I stay with you?"

"Because, Tony, you haven't slept for days!"

"So can I sleep with you? I'll even wear a t-shirt to soothe the arc reactor light so it won't bother you. Pretty, pretty please?"

"M'kay then, you can come."

As soon as they entered the room, Tony threw himself in Steve's bed – noticing mentally how the pillow's smelled Steve and hm so good – while the soldier turned off the lights and closed the curtains. They needed a very long night. He laid in bed, taking Tony in his arms.

"Tony, promise me the next time you're feeling down, you'll just talk to me, instead of locking yourself on the lab?"

"Only if you promise me you will help me." His voice was muffled by the pillow.

"I will, I promise." He kissed Tony's forehead before closing his eyes. They both soon fell asleep in each other's warmth.

That night, Tony didn't had a nightmare.

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Ta Da! Reviews?


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